Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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