woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
