How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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