its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Randomize
