Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This is not my ceiling
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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