Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
barbara walters just said penis...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
