she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
