Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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