we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
