I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
