Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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