so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
