You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
