my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this beer tastes like vomit already
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
