i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
