Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
