you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
