don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
