I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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