She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
