Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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