You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have aggressive nipples.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
