Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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