Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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