No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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