Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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