So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize