i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
zippers are such a cool invention
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
