Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
