I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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