I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
