Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
