My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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