In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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