You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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