i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
