Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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