I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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