Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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