We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
