its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
