And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
