why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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