I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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