this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
