Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
