Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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