In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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