bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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