The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
