whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
