How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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