Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
