I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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