"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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