Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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