I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
