member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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