yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
