After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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