I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
