Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Someone came in the potted fern
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
