I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
