There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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