They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You need Xanax blowdarts
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
