I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
