I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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