If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
