K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
