I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it's like iHOP with fire
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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