In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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