Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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