return my video game
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Houston, we have a squirter
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
